My friend died yesterday
he invited me to meet
but with my brisk decline
fueled by petty resentment
an unremembered slight
I answered ‘No’ to Life.
Shall I remain imprisoned within this ancient wound
inhabiting a brackish shadowland
the girl still seething
crouched amidst a thicket of unworthiness?
I know this landscape well
nothing fresh to find
the circular paths threadbare
habitual and chocking.
Unclenching my heart
I discover Life’s relentless entreaties
subtle messages whispered to my innermost being
by wren and wild rose
sycamore and tender newt
dew on the leaf
a baby’s smile
your lover’s sigh
the glint of recognition in a stranger’s eye.
This morning I felt the softest presence
of a buttercup
as I nearly passed her by.
Over here, she called, see me
brush your cheek on my open face
do it now, for my yellow brilliance is short-lived
and as we got nose-to-nose close
and sat quietly together
separateness alchemized
into kindred connection
her petals trembling
to the rhythm of my opening heart.
My friend died yesterday
but I am here Now
Alive
for a short while anyway
learning to embrace this precious fleeting gift
to honor him
and save myself
Today I answered ‘Yes’ to Life.
